However, while I do spend most of my time musing over our encounters with boys with my four best girl friends, I also spend a lot of my time determined to push past that and continue being a ~career girl. I don't really see much wrong in dreaming of living your life with someone else, but I also don't see anything more wrong about living your entire life for you. Actually, scrap that, you should live your life for you entirely, and when the day comes, the missing puzzle piece will just slot into place and he will just be a part of you. I think my problem is that sometimes I try to push wrong pieces into the puzzle that look like they might fit from a distance but actually they just get wedged and stuck. It's always the piece under the sofa, or the piece that turns up stuck to the bottom of your sock three days later in a place that you never thought to look that fits into the gap perfectly.
It's easy to waste a lot of time invested in someone, or in the words of Emma Koenig, create elaborate fantasies about your life with someone based entirely on their Facebook profile, or get hung up on why they haven't text or called. I think growing up and rushing in to things too quickly with men has now eventually made me hit that wall of realization that ultimately, I am very happy on my own, but I am a lonely soul. My observations of my own recollections with men and also the girls around me are that there are several ways you can go about softening how you feel, and I think in this modern age, depression can sink in to young people quicker than the older generation would like to believe. We're over saturated, we live for the Internet, and we're always in touch with people. Having my phone stolen made me realise just how many people I do sit and text or whatsapp on a daily basis, and it was at a point where I don't actually think it was healthy.
If you're feeling lonely (like I do), or you're on the cusp of your twenty-fourth year on this planet (like I am) or you really just long for a cuddle at night (..sob) I think the only way you can progress is by enveloping yourself in your friends and your aspirations, and by doing so distracting yourself from boys. Some of my friends are heartbroken still, some are pining after boys who don't care about their feelings. Some just want to be loved. It's not an uncommon feeling - infact my most "asked" thing on Tumblr is from girls anon telling me they're heartbroken and they want reassurance. I've had my heart broken so many times I can't actually even begin to put in words how I feel about that. However, something I think I do very well and what you can do to is learn how to bounce back, proper Alan Partridge style. You have to look at it this way, if you're not smiling one day, you might not catch his attention. If you're not happy, you wont look approachable. You could have already accidentally sabotaged meeting him already by not looking like you actually want to meet someone, or accurately reflecting your vibrant and happy personality.
The way I see it, is that while I am still young, I want to party til my legs can't stand no more, I want to party until the sun rises, I want to scream until my voice hurts. My heart might feel sick, but my head doesn't, and sometimes you have to follow what you know is right for you, and i'm telling you now, your head is right - every single time. The thing that can be hard to grasp but I would shake you until you see it is that he was just one of several. You had fun, you had a good time, but it wasn't right for you. Take what happened and learn from it. The stupid saying about kissing frogs is clearly a good thing to say in this situ, but it's actually kind of true in a reflective way. You might have hearts in your eyes and think he's perfect, but actually, each time you meet a new man, you're just ensuring he didn't have any of the qualities the last frog had. So really, you're not kissing a ton of frogs, you're kissing a frog, then a lizard, then a dragon.. then.. some kind of ultimate..dragon. Or something.
There's no pressure to catch up with your friend. Half your friendship group might be married, half might have 2.4 kids, half might have just bought their own houses. I have none of these things, but half of my girl friends do. If those are your priorities in life, that's great. And everything works out at a different pace for everyone. Becoming the future generation we can hopefully start to smash these stereotypes that at 18 you go to Uni and then at 22 you're married and at 25 you have your first kid, or whatever, because we can be fiercely independent now in this free country where we can determine where we want to be and that's our prerogative however quickly or slowly it takes to happen. Society tells us we have to fall in love, but society also reports that divorces are at an all time high. Why bother wasting time chasing after a terrible man, when you can be happy on your own dancing around your bedroom in your pants to Vybz Kartel at 3pm on a Monday (ahem) until he comes and finds you - and thinks that is hilarious and loves every little bit of you, for you.
So, grab your best lipstick, wear whatever you feel comfortable in and seize the moment, or you'll die regretting the time you lost over him. Be who you want to be, grab life by the throat and then when you're busy being a big whirlwind of awesome, a boy will grab you in a flash and he'll accompany you along your way. Oh but, it's totally fine to continue dreaming about meeting him one day.